Refusal Skills (Comebacks)

At some point, almost all teens will be pressured to have sex. Here are some ideas on how to say no.

• Don't let the other person think that you are depriving them of something. It is their problem if they want to put themselves at risk for diseases and pregnancy.
• End the discussion quickly. After you've firmly said "no", move on to talking about something else.

Here are some comebacks to common come-on lines:

The Come-on: Trust me. I won't let anything happen to you.
The Come-back: You don't have control over the whole situation. You don't know what is going to happen afterwards and I don't want to take the risk.

The Come-on: I've been tested and I'm clean.
The Come-back: It's nice that you've been tested, but I'm looking for someone who doesn't need to be tested because they are waiting like me. Besides, STDs aren't the only consequence of having sex. There is also the possibility of pregnancy and I'm definitely not ready to be a teenage mom!

The Come-on: But I love you. Don't you love me?
The Come-back: Love has nothing to do with it. I respect myself enough to wait.

The Come-on: SHOW me how much you love me.
The Come-back: I am showing you how much I love you by waiting.

The Come-on: No one will find out about this.
The Come-back: I will, and people knowing will be the least of my problems if I get a disease or have a baby.

The Come-on: It will bring us closer together.
The Come-back: If anything, it will make things more complicated and tear us apart.

The Come-on: If you won't have sex with me, I'll just find someone who will.
The Come-back: Go ahead. Find someone who doesn't respect you.

The Come-on: I'll break up with you if you don't have sex with me.
The Come-back: How sad that you are only with me to have sex. Now that I know this, it looks like you're doing me a favor dumping me.

The Come-on: It's OK, I've got a condom.
The Come-back: Condoms aren't 100% effective against STDs and pregnancy, and provide zero protection from the emotional hurt I could suffer.

The Come-on: I'll always love you. Let me share this with you.
The Come-back: If you will always love me, then it won't make a difference if we wait until I'm ready.